2007年9月28日 星期五
Toaday I see a movie which is called The Pursuit of Happyness. I feel so touch on this movie. The father with a kid and they have some trouble in fianacial difficulties. They do not have enough money to pay for the rent, so they have to live in a shelter where for the caird. Finally,the father passes the test and gets the job from the company. As we face the crisis, we have to solve it. I think we have to face the problems when we in distress.
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"Toaday I see a movie which is called The Pursuit of Happyness." ==> "Today I {watched /saw} a movie called 'The Pursuit of Happiness'." Verbose with the "which is"; idiomatic without "which is". Your two spelling errors are unforgivable, I'm afraid. Both are basic English words that you should know how to spell. And if you do know how to spell them, it is unforgivable that you did not proofread your post before you published it. Such obvious errors make you look bad as well as tell the world that you don't care much about how you write.
"I feel so touch on this movie." ==> "I was deeply touched by this movie." However, I prefer the active voice: "This movie touched me deeply." Don't use the passive if it isn't necessary, and it's never necessary if the agent is identified. Because the movie is the topic of your post, it should be the subject of this sentence.
"The father with a kid and they have some trouble in fianacial difficulties." ==> "It was about a father and his young son who were in financial trouble." "Trouble" and "difficulties" means the same thing, so don't say both in the same sentence.
"to pay for the rent" ==> "to pay the rent".
"so they have to live in a shelter where for the caird." ==> "so they have to live in a shelter", which is all I can understand. What does "where for the caird" mean?
"Finally,the father passes the test and gets the job from the company." Where does this come from? What company? What test? What job? Nothing here is clear. Everything needs an explanation.
"As we face the crisis, we have to solve it. I think we have to face the problems when we in distress." ==> "When we face a crisis, we must try to solve it." Not every crisis can be solved, and not everyone can solve the crises they face. The second sentence is merely a restatement of the first, so it's redundant and verbose.
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